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Definitions that may aid in understanding the Internet
and the firewood business. Log On
Log Off -
Don’t add any more wood.Monitor
- Keep an eye on the wood stove.Download
- Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup.Mega Hertz
- When yer not careful downloadin’ (watch th’ toes!).Floppy Disk
- Whatcha get from pilin’ too much firewood.Disk Operating System
- The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.RAM
-The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.Hard Drive-
Gettin’ home in mud season.Prompt
-What you wish the mail was in mud season.Windows
-What to shut when it’s 30 below.Screen
-What you need for black fly season.Byte
-What black flies do.Chip
-What to munch on.Micro Chip
-What’s left in the bag when the chips are gone.Infrared
-Where the leftovers go when Fred’s around.Modem
-What you did to the hay fields.Dot Matrix
-John Matrix’s wife.Printer
-Someone who can’t write in cursive.Lap Top
-Where little kids feel comfy.Keyboard
-Where you hang your keys.Software
-Them plastic eatin’ utensils.486
- One of them fancy imported cars.Mouse
-What eats the horses’ grain in the barn.Main Frame
-The part of the barn that holds the roof up.Port
- Fancy wine.Enter
- C’mon in!Random Access Memory
- When you suddenly can’t remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks.Digital
- Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.Apple
-If you don’t know what an apple is, I ain’t tellin’.Program
-What’s on the TV when there’s reception.CD ROM
-The place in the bank where they sell retirement accounts.EXECUTABLE
- A really bad person in prison.BATCH
- A whole bunch of somethin.Macro
- What yer friend Mac does so you can go trollin’.Screen Saver
- A storm window.Internet
- Where you hope the fish goes.CMOS
- Plants in the lake at yer fishin’ hole.BUS
- What you ride when yer truck is broke.COMPILE
- Where’s ya throw yer garbage to make fertilizer for the garden